This is a post written by Laura.
M.E drains all your emotions, doesn't it? For all of you out there without M.E, it's one of the biggest mind f*cks around, and believe me i know a lot about those. So, i thought it would be a good idea to do a few posts dedicated to the emotional side of M.E rather than the physical and share how i think and feel and any tips that might make a difference to you. I'm going to talk about being mentally tired (today's post), depressed, lonely, angry and excited. So, lets get started.
|Picture taken from Oh beautiful world|
Obviously being tired is the main symptom of having M.E but no-one talks about how tiring it can all be mentally. I know how you feel, like you're too tired to talk, too tired to pretty yourself and even too tired to smile! I've had M.E for 4 years now and i can not say that even a day goes by without me feeling all of these, but i'm learning to deal with it. Also, coming from someone who has never seen an M.E specialist, fighting to get the help and support you need nearly every day starts to really take a toll on your mental health. All of you know how it feels to not be able to string a sentence together, it's really hard for me to know what to say in a blog post (hence why Michael writes them all). But, today i needed to write this, to help as many people as possible.
Now, i'm not going to go on about how hard it is as we all know about that and don't need to think about it anymore. I'm going to give you some tips that i've learnt over the years, they might not work for you but i'll try my best.
- Don't go round and round your head getting in a fuddle over things you've now forgotten about. e.g. i am forever calling my Mum back in the bedroom by saying 'Um' (it's become a bit of a running joke in our house now) then forgetting what i was going to say as soon as she appears. We all know how mind crushing that is but i've learnt to stay calm about it, don't get too stressed about it, i'm sure they're not going anywhere and you can tell them as soon as you remember. Another idea is if they aren't around when you remember is to write it down or in your phone if you're able to.
- Try not to get down when you can't do anything about your appearance. I am extremely guilty of this, Michael's forever telling me i'm beautiful (he's a gem) but somehow it doesn't go in! I tend to try and do one little thing that can perk me up a bit; get someone paint my nails (having a BF who was a geek and painted toys when he was younger really helps), put just a dash of mascara on or a dab of lipbalm, do your hair up in a fancy scarf that keeps it off your face or hides it away when it's a bit greasy. And, Oh My God, dry shampoo is my saving grace! Honestly i am crazy for the stuff and it works too, i feel crap about my hair but am too tired to do anything so 'Voila' and out comes the magic fairy dust.
- If you can't do it don't do it. Another one that i am guilty of but hey, we can't get everything right. My brain is so tired and frazzled but i push it even further, so far that i get headaches and i can't breathe properly. Not. Good. So, just relax about it, i've learnt through having M.E to just go with it as much as you can and try not to get stressed! If you're having a really hard day and nothing is going in (almost everyday for me) then try listening to some calming music, e.g. Yiruma- an amazing pianist who wrote the song that Edward plays to Bella in twilight. Sade- my Mum had one of her old albums when i was younger so i used to listen to it if i was having a bad nights sleep. Frank Sinatra- Ofc. Or whatever works for you.
- It's okay not to talk. If you're too mentally tired to have a decent conversation then don't. Simply explain as soon as you start to feel this and people will understand. I often tell Michael to 'shut up' when i can't focus on what he's saying or it's not going in. Mean, i know, but he understands.
|Picture from Dump a Day|
So, i hope this was helpful to at least one of you, if not i do love a good ramble. Seriously, i love this blog and the thought that it might help other people is amazing. So, if you have any questions to ask us or suggestions then go ahead and share. Either comment below or send us an email at firstname.lastname@example.org, we love to hear for you.
Laura & Michael