Funny Mondays: Best of 2013

It's the last Funny Monday of the year! How time flies when you perk a Monday up. Of course, we thought it was only appropriate to share the best jokes of 2013.
The Pope is a lot like Doctor Who. He never dies, just keeps being replaced by white men. Phil Wang at the Edinborough Fringe festival 2013.

Vegetarians, if you love animals so much then why do you keep eating all their food? Unknown origin.

My Korean girlfriend once cooked me a pie made from Scratch. I was gutted. I loved that dog. Mark Restuccia at Just The Tonic in Bristol Square.

20 years ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. Now we have no Cash, no Hope and no Jobs. Don't let Kevin Bacon die. Bill Murray.

Taylor Swift waved at a boy yesterday and he didn't wave back... So she will have a new album coming out tomorrow. Will Ferrel.


7. Christmas bake of the week! 29/12/2013

The last Christmas Bake Of The Week and the last bake of the year too! Which means we've been blogging for 7 months, and boy do we love it! And hopefully your loving what we've been doing (if not, any suggestions are definitely welcome), so hopefully you'll stick with us throughout 2014. The last bake is a lush one too, Laura's Christmas breakfast. Obviously you gotta have something special, so this recipe would be good for a Sunday brunch. A lovely Spiced Fruit Loaf.
If you're a fan of fruit breads then give this one a go, mix and match the fruits to suit your liking (we did) and you're in for a treat. Laura loved it, especially with raspberry jam and her melted vegan white chocolate. Mmmmmm... Whenever we do a bread recipe we do half white flour and half wholemeal, it just makes a better bread we think, give it a go! There's only one problem, it doesn't last very long so you better get your share!


'Snow is falling...' we wish.

We really wanted to post on Christmas eve (perfect for reaching our 100th post!) so that munchkins like us can sit back and relax, not that we'll be doing that though! We're doing Christmas with all Laura's brothers and sisters tonight, mayhem. Don't worry though this weekend and the following week will be a big Christmas/ New Year reveal, *taps side of nose*. We really hope you'll like that, we know we would, or should I say Laura the post gobbler. But, on to today's post; our favourite things about Christmas.
  1. Dinner. One of the only times of the year that it's acceptable to stuff your face until you'll pop if you eat anymore.
  2. The Doctor Who Christmas special. Yeah, we went there. What's not to love? Aliens, time travel, a quirky doctor and a beautiful companion make for a perfect after dinner show.
  3. Presents! We're not materialistic at all but you're lying if you're saying you don't love the excitement of ripping the paper to find the most perfect present personally picked.
  4. Giving. We are both humungus givers. In fact, we're more excited about giving each other presents than anything else and always end up giving presents early.
  5. Spending the whole day with Izzy. While we live at Laura's Mums we can't have her living with us so Christmas is extra special.
  6. Everyone's in a good mood. And if they aren't they should be. After all, it is the most wonderful time of the year.
  7. Scamp opening his presents. He's getting very old and has a million different problems, but watching him run around like a puppy Christmas morning adds that little extra magic.
  8. Christmas movies. It might annoy some people (yes, me), but all the Christmas movies on around this time of year get everyone in the Christmas spirit.
  9. Family time. Believe us, we know it doesn't always go... let's say, peacefully. But, when it does it's lovely, everything else gets pushed out and everyone shares their time with you.
  10. Christmas songs. Of course, Christmas just wouldn't be the same without all those merry tunes that everyone knows the words to. It's great for Laura (who sings Christmas songs all throughout the year) as she can sing to her hearts content without too many weird looks!
Done. Please share some of yours in the comment box below, we'd love to read them. So, Merry Christmas! And to all you poorlies out there; don't push yourself too much!


Funny Mondays: 'tis the season to be jolly.

It's Christmas in 2 days. 2 days! Where has it gone?! We hope you're all feeling festive, but if not then hopefully we'll be able to perk you up.
  • Why did no one bid for Rudolph and Blitzen on eBay? Because they were to deer.
  • Mary and Joseph- now they had a stable relationship.
  • Why don't you ever see Santa in hospital? Because he has private elf care.
  • Why is it getting harder to buy advent calendars? Because their days are numbered.
  • How do you know if Santa's been in your shed? You've got 3 extra hoes.
  • Why did Rudolph the reindeer have the complete works of Shakespeare on his top lip? Because his nose was well read.
These jokes were borrowed from The Huffington Post.


6. Christmas bake of the week! 22/12/2013

WOW! It's the last bake of the week before Christmas and we hope you're ready for it. By jove! It's the best one (according to Laura anyway..). And yes, it's our very own recipe, seeing as the first one went down so well. So whats the bake that everyone whips out for the Christmas season? Mince pies of course! Ours are Berry Mince Pies with Orange and Cinnamon Pastry, cooorrrr.

Laura says these are her favorite mince pies ever and she'll never go back to the norm. I however, hate mince pies of any sort so obviously these wouldn't be any different to me. It's a very basic mince pie recipe with little magic twists to get your party started.

Berry Mince Pies with Orange and Cinnamon Pastry (makes 12)

225g plain flour
4 tablespoons icing sugar
2 teaspoons ground cinnamon
150g margarine
2 tablespoons orange zest
4 tablespoons cold water
200g mincemeat
1 handful of dried cranberries
1 large teaspoon raspberry jam

  • Preheat oven to gas mark 6 / 200 C
  • Sift together the flour, icing sugar and cinnamon. Mix in the butter until it resembles fine bread crumbs. Stir in the orange zest, sprinkle cold water and gather dough into a ball. 
  • Roll out dough onto a lightly floured surface to around 1/2 cm thick. Cut out 12 (7cm) wide circles, and 12 (5cm) circles.
  • In a bowl mix together the mincemeat, cranberries and raspberry jam.
  • Put the larger pastry circles in a muffin tin. Fill each circle with roughly a teaspoon of the mincemeat mixture, then place the smaller circles on top and pinch to seal. Brush with milk.
  • Bake the mince pies in the oven for 15-20mins. Cool on a wire rack, and once cool dust with icing sugar.



It's Christmas Tag Time!

a post by Laura
We'd been looking for a good Christmas tag for a while to share with you guys but none quite hit that spot. Until... I stumbled across one beautifully created by Ella from Hello Wonderful (you should definitely have a read) so here goes.

What time of the year do you start your Christmas shopping?
Normally in October, we like to beat the rush and be able to relax in December (not that that ever happens) as 3 out of my 5 siblings, Mum, stepmum and Michael have birthdays around Christmas! Holy cow! Next year I want to start early so I get the best deals.

Do you have any festive recipes for food or drink you limit solely to the Christmas season to share?
We're doing a Christmas Bake Of The Week series at the moment but the only Christmas recipes we limit to Christmas are mince pies and Christmas pudding, which Michael absolutely hates, silly boy.

Tell me how Christmas goes down in your home.
We wake up at 6 (yes, my brother's crazy. At 17) we all go down stairs with Mum and open presents around the tree, but not before we make a cuppa ofc. We open our pressure whilst Scamp goes crazy, he's great for someone who's very weak, he just doesn't know when the wrapping is done. It's Izzy's first Christmas with us this year so we're excited to see what she's like! After this we usually just relax for a bit before Mum cooks breakfast (Christmas fruit bread for me)and we sit round the table and eat. Gladrags are put on and the red lippy makes an appearance, not on Michael though. My other brother and sisters come round for an hour or so and we swap presents, I love sharing presents with them when we all crowd round in the living room. Then they all go home and my Nan and Pamp (Grandad) come round for lunch, stepmum has to go due to being lesbians, stupid. Cue arguments over how long things should be cooked; Nan likes to cremate the turkey then probe it while Michael likes it juicy. We finish dinner, watch something and demolish Mums famous Christmas pudding. It's going to be a little different this year due to m.e but it's our way. Everyone goes home or away and then it's just me, Michael and Izzy, best bit of Christmas :')

Do you have any Christmas traditions?
We always *test* a Christmas pudding at the beginning of December, Mum has to make around 8 every year! Me and Michael have a naughty tradition, we always give eachother at least one present early, i swear one year we'll have nothing to give eachother on Christmas day! We also always visit my Nan and Pamp on Christmas eve but this year I'm too I'll and they can't come down, sob.

Do you have a favourite festive coffee?
Michael hates coffee, or any hot drink for that matter, but I like cinnamon or gingerbread from Costa. My favourite would have to be Whittards festive Christmas pudding ground coffee , it's so good!

What's your favourite Christmas song?
The Pogues; Fairytale Of New York. 'Nuff said.

What do you do Christmas Eve?
Like above, we visit grandparents. After, we come home, eat some crap food and watch a Christmas movie snuggled in bed. And try to get an early nights sleep.

What's your Christmas wrapping strategy? Do you have a strategy?
I'm obviously not wrapping this year so I've bought a load of gift bags, but I know Michael's is wrap it and fix it with tape. As was mine until Mum 2, aka the wrapping Queen, taught me.

What's your dream gift this year?
Our very own place, 'tis all.

Describe your Christmas tree. How tall? Real or artificial? How is it decorated?
I can't leave my bedroom much so I have a 12inch real tree with a snowflake decoration, so cute. I did watch everyone put up the house tree, artificial with a naughty dog, and Michael helped me put Tigger on the top.

Do you decorate just the tree or other areas of the house e.g. windows, bannisters?
We decorate the dining and living room; stockings on the fire, advents markers and nativity scene. Our best friends' Mum used to dress her house like Santa's grotto, it was incredible! There was even a flying Santa along the ceiling!

What do you wear to Christmas parties and what do you wear on Christmas day?
Wow. We don't go/get invited to Christmas parties, ever. But we do do Christmas jumpers for Christmas day. Saddos. I may have worn Michael's Christmas jumper from last year throughout this year...
We hope you enjoyed reading this or being nosey, do it yourselves if you wish, we'd love to be nosey too.


Funny Mondays: we really do waste so much time.

It's only 9 days to Christmas guys! So I'm sure most of you are already in a heart warming mood but if you're a Grinch then this is dedicated to you. There's no theme this week so we've gone with highlighting a very funny website (for procrastinating ofc) I Waste So Much Time.

Harry Potter is on ITV every Saturday and we're watching every single one. Dobby is a legend.

Pesky dragons... Always there when you don't want them, never there when you do.


5. Christmas bake of the week! 15/12/2013

Here's another Christmassy bake of the week for you, and it's super delicious. This has to be the most festive recipe that we've done so far (just wait 'til next week) and we really hope you'll give it a whirl, it's worth it. Right, on to the Gingersnap Cookies. Yep, that's right, Gingerbread baby.

One word, Heaven. Christmas in a mouthful, these little buggers will ramp up the Christmas spirit and your house will smell so, so good. These won't snap (contrary to the name) but they will crumble and boy is it nice. Basically these have gone down a treat and if you only bake one thing this Christmas, make it these.


A Wish List For Your Furry Friends.

It's here, the final wish list in our little series. After all, it's only 12 days until Christmas! So, if you haven't finished shopping (what have you been doing?!) then fear not as we are here to help. We started with a wish list for anyone who is not in good health, which you can read here, it's great if you need to buy for someone who needs that little extra care. Next was our wish list for all the lovely gents out there aka me, have a good nosey here. Our last list was a helping hand in buying presents for the lovely lady in your life, you can read it here. So, now onto what to buy for our true best friends, animals.

First up is a great little toy to chuck around with your dog, it would probably be better suited to smaller hounds as it's only small itself. Omg! Izzy loves these bones, she'll sit there and chew one for days (although it's usually demolished in hours) so it's a good treat for big dogs. This is a snazzy little tag to add a little pizzaz to your dogs collar. Speaking of collars, these tweed ones look very dapper and they're also hand made so not only will your dog look very stylish, you'll be supporting a small business. We don't have a cat (yet!) but we thought we'd add in a little present for all the crazy cat ladies out there, and this bed looks so cosy.

If you have a dog like Scamp who likes to push his food bowl around the kitchen 'til you feed him, then you'll need a hefty bowl like this to survive the beating. The hamper is a nice all rounder if you just can't decide what to get your little hounds or if you're a little short on money you can share it out. Izzy will be getting these very soon, great if your dog likes to tug on something or squeaky noises (hopefully the squeak won't be torn out too soon). As you will know, we have a cute little bunny who likes attention and stomping his feet so it's only fair that we included a few gifts for Barley. We picked some Christmas wooden chews and a microwavable heat pad (these are great for regulating temperature). 

If you're crazy like us then you can even take your pets to a large pet shop and let them pick their own Christmas presents. We hope you've enjoyed our little wishlists and that they've been helpful at this wonderful, if not stressful, time of the year.


A Wishlist For The Lady.

written by Laura.
OMG! Only 2 weeks until Christmas! Where's the time gone? If you haven't been good and bought all your Chritmas presents yet then you should definitely check out all of our wishlists, this being the third in our series of 4. We've done A Poorly Christmas Wishlist and The Boys Christmas Wishlist. So, lets get on with the ladys' wishlist.

If you read this blog regularly then you know i am a huge Lush fan so this present won't come as a surprise. The Feeling Younger skin tint is great for dark circles, covering problem areas and highlighting, magic. I used to play dinosaurs with my youngest brother a lot, he was obsessed with them so i love these socks. I've been scrolling through Crown and Glory for a while but i could never pick between all of the beautiful things they sell! I eventually settled on the star crown as i'm a bit coo-coo when it comes to stars and it would be lovely to wear over the party season if you're not into whole body sequins. If i didn't use a wheelchair i would have this backpack! I'm really into monsters and dinosaurs and things like that so this would be perfect for weekends away (if you can take the bare minimum!). My wardrobe is full of knitwear, it's just so cosy and warm. This penguin jumper looks so sweet, especially worn over comfy leggings.

We were meant to go to London in September but i was too poorly. We had plans to go to the 
Ms Cupcake bakery to stuff our faces with all the lovely goodies they make, unfortunately that never happened so this cook book would be an awesome alternative. The Oribe Maximista thickening spray has had such amazing reviews that i think i'd like to try it. I've already got the dry texturising spray and i love it, Oribe are doing really well! Christmas pudding! Mmmhmmm... Mum has to make more each year, they go down a treat in our house so it's only right i have a Christmas pudding hat, even more so when some of the money goes to charity. I only like white chocolate but since going vegan it's been a hard task finding a decent one until i stumbled upon the coconut chocolate bar. It is seriously good. Last but by no means least, a luxurious Neom candle. We love candles, at the moment we've got 6 on the go in our one room (variety is the spice of life as they say) so we would love a posh candle to burn on special occasions.


4. Christmas bake of the week! 08/12/2013

Sorry for the delay on this weeks bake, we didn't get to taste it until last night so we couldn't give you a proper view of this delightful cake. It was Laura's Mum's birthday yesterday and we made this cake for her but still tried to keep it Christmassy, we think it succeeded! Old-fashioned Cherry Cake was the recipe, but we changed it to suit our needs and wants.

Because it already had ground almonds in, and Laura's Mum loves almond flavour, we decided to switch out the vanilla extract for Almond essence. It made the cake smell of Amaretto, imagine that floating through your house. Also we didn't use glacé cherries, instead we used morello cherries which we drained thoroughly. For all of you who don't know what they are, get down the shops, pronto! As per usual we used fake egg and margarine to make it vegan. When it was cooked we prettified it with a dusting of icing sugar.

This cake was lush, Laura's Mum absolutely loved it and it went down well with everyone else too! It tasted like a giant cherry bakewell, just melting in your mouth. Basically, give it a go.

Funny Mondays: how rude?!

Yes, we have smutty humour and yes, we love it! We've even got a Christmas related pic/joke so fasten your seatbelts and prepare to be wowed.

Found through Pinterest
If you haven't noticed yet... It's Christmas guys! We thought this one fitted in very well with this week's theme and Christmas spirit, perfect.

Taken from Don't Date That Dude
This is Awesome! It had us in a fit of giggles but some are absolutely disgusting.


The Boys Christmas Wishlist.

This is the second wishlist in our little Christmas series and Laura's getting really into this wishlist stuff! You can see our first here for present ideas for the person in your life who's a little under the weather (or ofc for yourself).


Up first are some chunky boots, which you'll need if your feet are to survive the cold winter months ahead, no canvas slip on around here thank you! I may already have these and they may already be keeping my feet toasty. If you've been reading our blog for a while you'll know that we've recently got a car so the Grippy pad is perfect for sticking your phone or anything you need on the dashboard when your partner is snoring next to you. Sweets, what more do i need to say? Bacon, BACON, bacon... Bacon, Bacon Salt ladies and gentlemen. Next is what i'm sure most guys will be doing puppy eyes over, unfortunately it's a little expensive for most of us, so save all your pennies!

Me and Laura will definitely be getting the new Lego game. As you know, we love superheroes so the week after Christmas you'll find us hibernating with munchies killing the bad guys. A GIANT GUMMY BEAR, i've always wanted something like this to exist growing up and my dreams have come. I think it must be pretty rare that people don't get smellies for Christmas so i had to add one to the list, and this smells lovely (Laura's Nan bought me one last year and it went down well). If you've ever wanted to feel a little more like the amazing Doctor Who then now is your chance, anyone want some fish fingers and custard while we're at it? This really is a present for the little boy trapped in your man. Lastly if you have a face full of hair you can't go wrong with this i-stubble trimmer. I have one and it's the best trimmer that i've ever had as you can choose the exact length you want your stubble/beard to be.


A Poorly Christmas Wishlist.

Written by Laura.
We're being typical bloggers and doing a few Christmas wishlist, starting with and m.e list, then his, hers and animal. I've never asked for much for Christmas but this year i've found it a little easier that i can suggest presents that will not only be cool to have but also be helpful when you're feeling rough.

10. Nord moose bedding - £24/£124

First on the list are the lovely ASOS fluffy check snood and hat. They look so soft and cosy, they're a little pricier but definitely worth it, and hey! It's Christmas. Michael bought me a snood 3 years ago and it's the only scarf/snood i wear, it's probably a bit grimey now but I just can't resist. Then the matching hat, hats are my best friend, seriously, look in the mirror and your hair looks like you've just got out the shower (Michael came in one day and asked if Mum had washed my hair, she hadn't) pop a hat on and everything's hidden. The pyjamas look so comfy and like they'd keep you warm, again there a little expensive but you can't beat good quality PJs. A present for all the stress heads out there; i've read a lot about Aromatherapy Associates, here and here, they'll be so good for different problems and help you to relax. I love love love Christmas movies, my favourites being White Christmas, Miracle On 34th Street and It's A Wonderful Life. They're the perfect thing to snuggle down with to get you in the Christmas spirit while healthy people are attending Christmas events. Who wouldn't rather be at home under a warm blanket with a warm beverage and some sweets?

Sometimes we need to escape from the crap that is everyday life and i find a game is great for this. So, i like to play Sims as it is something you can really lose yourself in, though when it keeps messing up it's not very relaxing. I'd rather have piles and piles of blankets or throws than one big one, it's just so comforting to me, shame when your boyfriend's like a radiator though! I really think a good fleecey blanket is a great Christmas present, it can be more expensive so better quality and will make such a difference to how you feel, the cold makes you feel so much worse. The Clarasonic Mia makes a great present for any skincare junkies out there (my hands the highest) so you don't have to put the effort in to scrub your face. I'm definitely thinking of buying one of these after a friend said they were helpful. Mittens are awesome, especially kitten mittens, see what I did there? And these are touch screen mittens, touch screen mittens! I am totally getting these. Last is the moose bedding. If you're bedbound like i am then you'll know that decent bedding can make all the difference and i think this moose bedding is funny and seasonal.

Enjoy you're Christmas shopping!


Funny Mondays: the joys of imagination.

First off, it's now Christmas month, Christmas month! Laura's nearly finished shopping and I haven't even started! Although, we're writing this on our new tablet, it's amazing. Time to cheer you up. We're on different ends when it comes to imagination, Laura's got a crazy imagination, me not so much but i've definitely got a bit more common sense. There's nothing like Disney.

Taken from One Stop Humor
There's nothing like a bit of Lego. Every child (and adult) in the world needs to experience Lego!

Taken from The Meta Picture


3. Christmas bake of the week! 01/12/2013

It's time for another scrummy Christmas bake! And it's perfectly timed for the 1st day of December. CHRISTMAS. Laura is super excited (she did a post on handling excitement here) and these special bakes are getting her right into the Christmas spirit. This weeks is the most suited recipe for the season we've done so far and it even has a little twist. Cranberry & White Chocolate Panettone! 

'It's amazing!' is what Laura says, and i agree with that statement. I never had a Panettone before but i can't see how i'll be able to stray from this recipe because it's so lovely. It's perfectly sweet with gooey spots of white chocolate (vegan of course) and juicy bursts of fruit. Another bonus is that it lasts up to 2 weeks if you wrap it in some foil, not that it will last that long! Go and make this, you won't regret it!