MEAM: What M.E. Took.

For those who don't know, for M.E. awareness month (May) I am writing a post, despite my severe illness, every single day. I'm doing this to raise money and awareness for the neurological chronic illness M.E. and the charity Invest in M.E. in the hope that one day we may find a cure. So, I'd really love if you'd head over to my JustGiving page and sponsor me throughout this challenge. Thank you.

  1. My beloved gluten. I love bread. And, knowing I'm anorexic, this surprises many. No matter how much I restricted my self I never, ever stopped eating bread. It's my weakness. So, when I had to stop eating it after developing an intolerance, like many of us do with M.E., you can imagine I was heart broken. I even tried to start eating it again but when, after 2 months with my beloved, my Doctor told me [gross bit] I was backed up to my stomach I thought it was time to stop.
  2. Exercise. I was an exercise freak and my timetable looked a little like this: Monday was double P.E. first thing, netball straight after school, basketball straight after that, then volley ball at 7 which me and my step sister jogged to and from; I'd go to our school gym twice a week after school; There was double P.E. on a Thursday morning; I'd go swimming with my guy friends 2 or 3 times a week, run on weekends and walk the dogs for miles a couple times a week. Looking back now I can see that that was too much, hindsight is a beautiful thing! Now, I would do anything to be able to walk the dog, just around the block. It's the simple things.
  3. Music. I played the piano and was doing music for GCSE but when the time came that I had to drop a subject, music was it. It was the one I did for fun, the music room was upstairs which was like a mountain climb, and my teacher was an absolute arsehole. I haven't touched a piano in 5 years. And now, even listening to music can send my mind into brain fog land with one tiny note. This sucks when Michael loves music and is always finding new, exciting artists.
  4. Experiences. Most people our age have done college, gone to Uni, got a job, travelled round the world, partied hard and lived their lives. For christs sake, our best friend has moved to Australia with his girlfriend and hates it when he comes 'home'. Michael and I would have done so much by now, already married, he'd be earning quite a bit and I'd be a veterinary nurse. I just want to do little things; go abroad just us two, drive to the beach anytime we want, go on picnics like we used to, go to festivals and concerts, just dance in our living room.
  5. My ability to help. I wanted to say it took my friends but it didn't, they did that themselve so... I've always been the sort of person who would do anything for anyone and loved doing it. I would have volunteered and been a vet for crying our loud! But, now I have to be content with doing little things, if the animals need anything I'll be the first to do it, Scamps weepy eyes, staying up all night when Izzy was very ill, even wiping Barleys bum and clearing up his sick. And i love every minute of it.
  6. Money. Oh, money. I've got a post coming up on money and benefits. But basically, you don't actually get many benefits and you can barely live off of it. But, it's not our choice to be on benefits, we work for them by going through what we do every single day without any help. Every single one of us want to be out earning decent money and not living on a measly amount of money. Not. Our. Choice.


  1. I like how you said that we work for our money by going through what we do - people see benefits as just hand outs. But really you have to have a pretty tough life to qualify for disability benefits, and it is not something that you get a day off from (or even a night off, I'm writing this to you at 6:55 in the morning after NO sleep). How many people go for 36 hours with no sleep for their job?! ..if they do they probably expect to get paid more than £50 per week!

    Anyway, I just wanted to say that I can identify all of these points. I too used to love music an sport, and sorely miss them both! I also really miss the food too, a few days ago I was in a cafe where there was noting that I could eat at all!

    I'm looking forward to your future blog posts this month, as I have said before I really look up to you for doing this! :) xx

    1. Thank you for such a long comment, I love to hear your thoughts :) I do wish we could have a break, I often say I'd like to give this to someone else for 1 hour (never any longer, i don't want anyone else to deal) so I could have a break and they would better understand.

      The things we lose, ehh?

      It's so lovely of you to say that, thank you so much <3

  2. Such a good post Laura - it makes me so sad to think of all the things M.E. took from you, but this is exactly what we need for awareness even though it must have been a toughie to write! I was an exercise and music lover before getting ill, too, and it's so hard to lose things that were such a big part of your personality and your sense of self. Your lovely, caring and helpful nature shines through your blog (posting every day for MEAM to raise funds and awareness is a brilliant example!) so it hasn't taken that :)

    M.E. is such a cruel illness it really is - but I really hope it won't be too long before you're able to take Izzy for a little walk around the block. <3 xxxx

    1. It was hard to write, I don't really like to think about it, it just gets you down. Every spoonie I know had an amazing and full life before M.E. and it's unfair that we got lumped with an incurable illness! Thank you for your sweet words, you're a star :) xx

  3. It is so cruel how much ME can take away. I loved too exercise before I fell ill. It just goes to show how untrue the stereotype that people with ME are lazy is... I hope with every bit of me that you regain some of these things one day Laura. I hope you know that you are still managing to help people though. This blog and all you do to raise awareness is a testament to that xxx